A Mother’s Day Mourning

 

mothers day

I have this poem I really really love and I can not get it published.  It is layers of pain in my heart because it is about me as a mother. I was thinking about Mathew Arnold’s poem, Dover Beach when I wrote it.  Dover Beach has a memory tied to it and I can never escape its power to grip and move me.  (Just like the ocean waves…)

One of the most valuable exercises I have found as a poet is to write in the style of another poet. It’s tough but I learn so much while doing it.  (Writing a sonnet is a bitch!) I took Dover Beach and wrote my own version, “A Mother’s Dover Beach”.

My sons really don’t communicate with me.  I’m not sure why but it is probably because I left their dad. One son has not talked to me 3 years.  He won’t tell me why.  The other 2 maybe communicate with me once a year. I know tomorrow on Mother’s day, I will not hear from any of them.  Holidays and Mother’s Day are killers for me.

Did I beat them? No.  Did I lock them in closets and starve them?  No.  I did the best I could do as an imperfect human in an imperfect world.

I pray for reconciliation and try and keep it in God’s hands.

 

 

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Published by: Basicallybarb

Barbara A Meier is a poet, teacher, and mother, trying to write her way out of Kansas, anxiety and depression. Instead of indulging in feeling like garbage, trash, or rubbish, she chooses to examine the debris of her life by writing poems about it. After all as a forgiven, child of God, simultaneously saint and sinner, she is loved and cherished by her God.

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